We took a different approach when my wife and I got married and it worked out really well.
I was in my mid 30s and she was in her mid 20s so we were both established so it was understood that we would pay for it and not her parents. We did some sole searching and determined that we didnt want a big wedding. BTW its tougher to eliminate guests than it is to invite them. Anyway what we decided was to get married on a Caribbean cruise. The only requirement my wife had was that her parents be there and a couple of friends (my mother was deceased and I hadnt seen my father for about 13 years so they werent an issue). We ended up paying for ourselves and her parents. Two other couples that we knew went and payed for themselves because they had planned to go on a cruise anyway. The whole deal ended up costing us about $5000, we had a relaxed, informal, but exotic, marriage with built in honeymoon and her parents really enjoyed themselves. It couldnt have turned out better (or less expensive). I still joke around about inviting her parents on our honeymoon though.
When we got back, we had a reception at our house for our friends and family that didnt go on the cruise.
I recommend this to everyone I know that is having issues deciding what kind of wedding they want or if they are having finacial issues. It really takes the pressure off everyone and the cruise lines or travel agency are more than happy to take care of all the arrangements. We got married at 9am and were snorkling off of St.Thomas by noon.

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